So You’re Not A Sociopath. Now What? (part 2)

The spotlight can be a lonely place. But the choir can be lonely too.

We love our heroes. We read their books and view their movies. A big reason that we follow their careers is that they “made it.” Perhaps against the odds, they worked hard, fought, and went down but got back up.

Maybe we experience heroes, living vicariously through them because they reached heights few can, especially you.

But it’s not real. They did not get there on their own. The idea that they did inspires a few who can see a pathway, mostly those who were “born on third base.” The hero idea also reduces most of us to spectator status. But the superachiever is part of a community that may or may not clearly see who they are because there is little place for transparency and empathy. Sometimes the person who always gives zero ƒ√ç|<§ is appealing. There’s something to be envied in that kind of liberty and independence.

Still, we will always share a need and a longing to win as a team. We want a victory parade with all players onboard. Yet, even then it does not mean you are being seen by the crowd or even your team. Whether we succeed “alone” or alongside colleagues, we need communion. We need intimate conversations.

Even while popping the cork, too many of us privately carry a sense of failure. We see ourselves as disappointing adolescents, students, parents, workers… the list is endless. It’s pain that we carry and may be afraid to share because we don’t want to be rejected and show even more people what failures we are.

But, instead of being secretive or defensive, what if we could help each other, especially when we’ve fallen and can’t get up? I think we can renew many of our relationships if we dedicate ourselves to renewal. Taking pauses for tenderness is better medicine than the chase. Poco a poco.