Why You’re Not Bitter

As we all know, bitterness is debilitating. If it does not wholly deplete you of energy and erase aspirations, it can make you sluggish while you try to move forward.

You have friends who make bitterness seem so natural that you wonder if there’s something wrong with you and you feel like somebody who’s dancing after the music has stopped.

So, how have you avoided being bitter?

You visit your memories as an observer instead of just a victim. It may even have once seemed impossible to get past the time you were robbed, betrayed, misunderstood, or disrespected in other ways. It may have been so severe that you were tempted to turn on yourself, blame yourself, and join the one(s) who hurt you. But that would have meant robbing, betraying, misunderstanding, and disrespecting yourself.

You have managed to steer clear of all this by seeing yourself as a witness to all these things. You watched people behave immaturely, even cruelly, and you forgave them. You keep forgiving them. For some, this seems impossible. It cuts deep when an erstwhile friend is not being friendly. It cuts deeper when it is an authority figure because you may have been anticipating protection.

You understand that you are not the only person to share such experiences. It’s part of the cost of being in the world. It’s just that nobody prepared you adequately, or maybe you didn’t prepare yourself. Whatever the case—nobody is ready for the world. Nobody.

You cannot stay stuck in the pain when you see yourself as conducting a lifetime of reconnaissance, beginning in early childhood. You watched people behaving badly (or kindly), perhaps in some cases yourself, but even if it’s you, you pay attention to what went down. That is where you find liberation.

This is true for each of us. When we see that we are beings among beings and that all creation comprises our family, we will see that all these siblings are just that. Even if they were, say, a teacher or other authority figure, they are your sister, brother, and fam in the world when we can see it.

 

 

 

 

 

Brittney Griner

we love you.

Brittney Griner we love you.