The Cost-Benefit of Respecting More People

“Hate the sin, love the sinner” is what we embraced together in those days. We honestly thought it was noble. We wanted to show how welcoming we were. We wanted to prove we were authentic followers of Jesus, unlike those who carried picket signs declaring their contempt for Queer folks.

(Before going further, “Thank you” to the world of wonderful justice workers and thinkers who continue to offer deep love and support. The magnitude of your companionship by far outweighs the painful losses.)

Wonderment now comes from not so much being excluded from circles I once moved in and benefited from but how exclusion happens quietly behind one’s back. I knew I was snared in a rumor mill, but I mostly did not hear the talk directly. How would I know this? Admittedly this conclusion is based on conjecture, but it can’t be a coincidence that so many people stopped calling on me simultaneously. A few of them were more than colleagues but friends with whom I once enjoyed the occasional casual conversation. Does anything create “Us and Them” more efficiently than religious doctrine and statements of faith? They breed arrogance, and it feels liberating to have been “blocked” by certain people after I unsubscribed from the prison of that arrogance.

Speaking invitations from around the country withered and were swept away, along with the honoraria that helped us maintain our household. In a few cases, even people within our own local congregation at the time turned away, or questioned my judgment.

We came close to collapsing financially. But the anguish of those years never made me second-guess who I was, not for a moment—accepting who I am more fully has strengthened me and enhanced my vision. I see beauty in all of Creation like never before.

Especially my LGBTQIA+ friends!

Brittney Griner,

we love you.

Brittney Griner, we love you.