So You’re Not A Sociopath. Now What? (part 4)

We know the term "birthday" well in my part of the world. Some cultures also have a deathday. This may come off as revisiting the heartbreak to drag out the sorrow. Maybe it is. Maybe heartbreak is underrated.

On the anniversary of their ancestors' death, many Asian cultures have commemorative rites to honor the deceased. People often ask, “How would you like to be remembered?” It would be more thoughtful for all parties, to ask, “How would you like your remembrance to be recognized?”

I particularly love the "Dia De Los Muertos" holiday from Mexico. It's like recognizing that the departed are not really departed. One might think that with so much attention directed toward people that we cannot see that we might have less bandwidth for more important matters. The truth is, when we identify what is of value, it helps us develop our sensibilities for everything else. What are your priorities? Can you step away from the chase and notice family? Friends? Is there someone you take for granted because you know you can always call? Eventually? These relationships are important right now, and one reason is that they help to insulate you from those who don't believe in you, those who are only and constantly critical of you, and even those who are hostile to you. These nurturing relationships help keep you from cynicism so you don’t give up.

Deathday reminds us that we are players in a big story and enhances that indispensible sense of significance. We also see our story when we pause for tenderness. You may have noticed that people who don’t follow cable news or social media closely are often among the most present. They are busy loving folks.

Do you feel deeply while the world appears to keep chasing whatever the world chases?

Hold that thought. The world needs you even if your feelings feel unnoticed.

You have two options. Either lie to yourself and the world, or make your heart available to be broken again.