I Have Been Frequently Ghosted

I think some people’s reactions to my mistakes cut me pretty deep because I feel their disappointment. It also hurts when someone misunderstands me.

But my convictions have cost the most. Yet I have no regrets about taking those stands. 

I had no idea my convictions were so controversial in most cases. In some cases, the cost was felt financially. The friends who abandoned me were Black, White, Latinx, Asian, and Jewish. Maybe I’m an equal opportunity offender. I have offended rich and poor people alike.  

They sometimes brought me grief but mostly, I was troubled. And shocked. 

Incredulous.

Just a few examples of those decisions include: 

• Calling out white supremacy 

• Standing up for Palestinians 

• Sadly saying that Bill Cosby was guilty from the early reports 

• Celebrating Colin Kaepernick 

• Loving and celebrating LGBTQ+ folks, especially trans friends 

• Maintaining that there is something better than capitalism 

• Trusting a woman’s judgment when she chooses to have an abortion 

• Pushing back against police violence against the poor, and law and order’s covenant with the wealthy 

Usually, people are cordial but don’t want to communicate. They fade away. In some cases, they like to talk, but only to “correct” me but not to reason. I was taken off-guard that they were true believers who valued their positions more than friendship. My friend Brian started experiencing this before I did. I asked him, “what do you do when friends desert you?” He said, “You’ll find better friends.” 

I’ve found some delightful friends.